Frank’s Fax Facts And Reviews
Volume XVIII, No. 37
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Monday was a red letter day for me, thanks to my good friends Kathy
and Gerry Kutzman. They drove me to Hattiesburg, where I have been longing to
visit since seeing the wonderful changes in the football stadium on television this
year. Gerald, Ken Williams and I have thrilled to the Golden Eagles’ many
great games together (I dubbed us the “Three Mosquitoes”) but I have been unable
to risk going up those stairs for a number of years since those “Good ole days”.
Lately, we have done the next best thing: watching the team play on TV. Sadly, the best
season ever, was followed by the miserable first winless season ever, and we all
died a little. But there was little mention of anything so sad Monday! We literally
drove around the campus all day long! And it was breath-taking, I had heard so
much about the Trent Lott Building, that I simply had to see that! And it was worth
waiting for! It looks like something out of a fairy tale; with its all glass, spiral stair
cases that seem to go up to infinity, and its proximity to the football stadium. We
called Dale Hudson and invited him to lunch with us at the beautiful Purple Parrot
restaurant, where we all enjoyed a delightful lunch. Then, with Dale as our tour
guide (his brother’s firm had built the Trent Lott Building) we drove around for
three hours, drinking in the sheer beauty of the campus.
As if this had not been breath-taking enough, Gerry insisted on taking me to the
Book Store, where he demanded that I choose one hundred dollars worth of Golden Eagle
Memorabellia! (I reminded him that he had given me the most beautiful artist’s painting of t
the campus that I ever hope to see, which Joe Grimly had framed as beautifully as I could
ever ask for); but that would not do. So, I now have more beautiful souvenirs from my
beloved Alma Mater! What can I say! He’s a great guy!
I am happy to relate that the basketball team, much to our delight, has won its first eight games of the young season! This is the way we love it, at USM. These wins include Western Kentucky, Georgia, Sam Houston State, and Denver! GO EAGLES!
Why do cats like to sleep atop us in bed?
We are such lovable companions for our cats, and bedtime is a great opportunity for some heavy duty bonding with us! One look at a group of sleeping cats and you can see that they don’t mind sleeping draped over one another, so why should we mind? It’s just the feline custom to sleep in a group and cats are certainly not aware that humans may find it strange or annoying in any way. Our large, warm uniquely-scented bodies offer security, coziness and a whole heap of well-being for kitty, regardless of whether or not we share those particular sentiments. No matter—kitty will probably persist at lying on your head or your legs unless she eventually grows weary of getting tossed aside. Don’t always be too quick to fling her away…she’s your faithful feline friend and she just wants to stay close.
Draft Dodgers Anonymous
Lavon had returned to the Band School (where he was one of the Instructors) and I had undressed and crawled between the sheets of my bunk. I had been too frightened during that last formation, to notice what happened to my buddy, Marcus; and now I became worried about him. Where had he gone, and what was he doing?
As if in answer to my thoughts; I heard his familiar voice, just as I was about to drift off into blissful sleep. “Francis, how did you get to bed so early?” He sounded almost angry. I told him how Lavon had rescued me from a fate worse than death, and asked where in the heck he had disappeared. “Oh. I volunteered to do some typing for them!”
“You did what?” I demanded.
“Did a little typing for them.”
“No. Not the typing: what did you say before that?”
“Nothing! That’s where I’ve been!”
“Didn’t I hear the word Volunteer?”
“Well, yes!” Slowly and filled with what sounded like guilt to me.
“Marcus, didn’t your brother tell you never to volunteer for anything, in the Army?”
“Now, Francis, you’re being totally unrealistic! After all, I worked all summer in New York, as a Dictaphone Secretary---” he remains to this day, the only person I ever heard use this term. “So, if I could land a job doing that, I’d have it made!”
I rolled over and clenched my eyes shut: tight!
He was not about to let me sleep! “How in the world did you get everything SOP’ed and ready to go to bed?”
“Oh,” I could not resist rubbing his face in it, “Lavon came over and showed me exactly how to do it. It was a piece of cake!”
That shut him up. But for a minute, only. “Oh, by the way, there was another guy there, who already does a lot of typing for the officers.” I refused the bait.
“He’s really nice!” Again, I said nothing.“His name is Lynwood McTeer.”
That did it! “Lyn-WHAT?”
Marcus laughed, as he said, “WOOD!”
“Well, if that doesn’t take the cake, I’ll eat it!”
And then I rolled the other way and was instantly fast asleep!
2. “I had a friend named Peter Paul,
He jumped up and went A. W. O. L-“ his voice was like liquid velvet, as it punctuated the South Carolina morning.
“They found him in Diddy Wah Diddy-
Made his home in BarbWire City!
They always had great sounding voices, and were smartly dressed (their uniforms pressed and spotless). They had an almost unlimited repertoire of Basic Training Jingles, and they were always black!
The words, “Sound Off”, as I had discovered that very first day of Basic Training, were us commoners’ cue to sing the next “Sound Off”, which was followed by counting to four in the following rhythm: “One-two-three-four-one-two” pause “THREE-FOUR” sung quickly and with as much “Jive” was we were capable!
It clearly was a good way to make the dreadful act of marching almost enjoyable.
I had to smile, as I heard Lynwood’s voice next to mine, in close harmony. Marcus had made the mistake of introducing the two of us, and it was instant attraction. We were now allied, against Marcus (Who was growing to be more and more of a royal pain in the butt!)
Lynwood was the first native South Carolinian I had ever heard talking in “South Carolinian!” His name, just for starters, came out as
“Mac-Tay-uh”, and it got ever cuter and funnier. (He answered roll call with, “Hay-yuh!”) Months later, when we were on the same ship, being transported to Germany, he’d crack me up singing, “Narrow, my God to thee”, un-nerving everyone near us by reminding them of the movie Titanic.
He had completed his first year at the University of South Carolina, right here in Columbia, and knew the city like the back of his hand. This was to come in mighty handy for me.
To Lynwood, the Capital was “Cola”, and he promised me, Marcus, Joe Cockran, and our little “group” that he would go with us, to the Hotel Columbia, downtown, where we would all pile into one room, eat in the dining room (his description of their shrimp cocktails, made us all drool!) and sleep till noon on Sunday the second we got our first weekend pass!
As a college freshman, he had to have a year of Dismounted Drill, and soon he was acting as our Drill Sergeant as we were put through all sorts of complicated drills!
I’ll always remember the obvious joy of living that went into his directions as I remember them, “Double to the rah-yuh; to the front; to the left, to the right --?—Well, you see, I never would have made it in that ROTC atmosphere!
(To be Contimued)
Movie Trivia Quiz #61
1. Who was the wife of Clifton Webb in the film Titanic?
2. What was the secret she had kept him from learning the truth about?
3. What was the disaster in the film In Old Chicago?
4. According to Rita Hayworth, what caused this accident?
5. If you enjoyed disaster movies as much as I always did, name the best part of Suez.
6. The Towering Inferno brought an Oscar to what actor famous for dancing?
7. What was the name of the film, starring Sigourney Weaver and Kevin Kline that featured a real ice storm? Don’t over complicate the title.
8. Name 2 movies that featured Cyclones. There are at least three to choose from.
9. What film, based on a best-selling novel, was set in New Zealand and was the grand daddy of Disaster films? It starred Lana Turner and Donna Reed as unlikely sisters.
10. Who sang opera, as San Francisco’s Earth Quaked?
ANSWERS TO QUIZ. #60
1. Alan Ladd was Shane, in the movie,
2 The child actor from Member of the Wedding, was Brandon de Wilde.
3. The actress who was a frequent co-star to James Stewart, and who played the boy’s mother in Shane was Jean Arthur.
4. Julie Harris was the leading female in The Member of the Wedding
5. Gary Cooper won an Oscar for the 1952 Western High Noon.
6. Grace Kelly was his blonde wife in the film.
7. Kelly was given an Oscar for The Country Girl,
8. Dial M for Murder was directed by Alfred Hitchcock,
9 Ray Milland was Grace Kelly’s Oscar winning husband, who tries to murder her.
10. There is a third major star in this Broadway play-into-a-movie: Robert Cummings was also in King’s Row with Ann Sheridan.)